It's Always Something

We finally get to where Carter is well and really happy and feeling good and with a snap of a finger he is knocked back down again.  We were taking his one year pictures yesterday and all of a sudden he starts screaming and picking up his leg and would not set it down, put any weight on it, let us touch it, or bend it.  We give it a little bit and it did not get any better.  So we had to stop taking pictures and we took him to the ER in Nashville.  They took their sweet time getting us seen, but I kept my cool.  We finally get back there and low and behold he lost a little bit of weight which I did not like AT ALL!  With that being said, we are putting him on toddler formula.  Anyways, they took 5 different x rays on his foot and ankle and they said that they didn't see anything.  They wrapped his foot and sent us home.  He slept with us in our bed, of course, and I checked his fever it said 101.3.  Not too bad, but we gave him some fever recuding medicine anyways.  I called the children's hospital this morning to see what they thought I should do because he was running a little fever and his ankle as no better and still a little swollen and she said that she would get him seen.  I talked to her around 10:45

I knew about the Pediatrics clinic in Texarkana that was open from 8 to 12 today so I called over there and told the woman I was coming and to let them know so they won't lock the doors.  I flew over there with my flashers on and got there about 7 minutes til 12.  I bet you can't guess what we walked up to?!?!?  A locked door.  I showed my little butt.  I banged on the glass door and screamed.  Then I called the lady and told her to come open the door for me because it was not 12 yet and my child needed to be seen and we drove an hour to get ther blah blah blah.  I was screaming at her.  Screaming!!!  Then she had the nerve to tell me that if we were not there by 11:45 then they lock the doors.  I did a lot more screaming. She could have told me that before I left the house.  I got her name, then carried out the conversation telling her that since they do not care enough about my son to see him because we were 10 minutes late then we are going somewhere else.  And that her supervisor would be hearing from me and that I was going to do my best for her to lose her job....then hung up on her.

They told me that my options were to go back to the er...and wait forever...then if they hospital thought it was needed, then they would call a pediatrician to come look at him.  Ummmm....no thanks.  Been there done that last night.  My other option was to go to some other clinic in Texarkana...we call them and they don't see anyone under 5.  How dumb was that lady.  Seriously?!

So we get home and his temp went up to 103 and he has been sleeping all evening.  I'm worried about him.  Very worried.  I just hope it is not an infection that is causing the fever and not something that will travel up his leg.  We are going to keep a close eye on him.  We already have an appointment Monday with his regular doctor.  Poor guy can't understand that his little foot is hurting when he stands.  And when he is feeling better and wants down he tries to stand...a lot.  So we are just having to be in the floor with him and make him sit the whole time. 

So that's my news for today.  Just keep praying for my little guy.  Thanks!

Thoughts for Today

For some reason I woke up wanting to feel accomplished.  It's weird because me wanting to be accomplished never ever crosses my mind when my alarm goes off in my eardrum at 4:45 in the freaking morning.  I don't know if it is because I have worked out every day this week or what.  But I have decided that I really want to do something that will really make me feel accomplished and make me feel really good about myself.  When you have a baby, it's never about you anymore.  I never get to do things for me like I used to.  Being a mom is hard work and I know that in itself should really make me feel accomplished but being a good mom is not something that I have a choice about.  That is something that I have to do.  I mean, don't get me wrong...I love being a mom and I try to be the best that I can be but sometimes it's just great to do something for you that is hard work, doing it well, and doing it when you actually have the choice to do it or not.  I think its great to make a plan, work really hard preparing for it, put it into action, and being successful.  So, to get where I am going with this thought.....I think I have decided to prepare for a 5k race.  This whole thought may be a fluke and I may get way over it by tomorrow but I am having some strong feelings about it.  There are people out there that are in wheel chairs and would run a 5K every month if they could!  I just feel like I am really taking my health for granted when I am lazy.  I am doing the Warrior Dash next month so I am not completely worthless but that's a lot of obstacles that I will probably have to stop at some and walk or wait in line.  I am wanting to be able to just full fledge run the whole time.

I mean this is coming from a girl that has to literally make herself get on the elliptical trainer and do just 30 minutes of cardio every day....(which has not happened in over a week).  I got on the treadmill last week and was about to DIE in 10 short minutes of jogging.  Sad!  It would be very hard for me to get to where I can run a 5k without stopping but do you know how proud of myself that I would be?  That I actually did something that did not require any mommy duties?  That I actually did something that was solely for me?   It makes me SO excited just thinking about it.  There would have to be a lot of changes that I would have to make.  Getting more sleep, eating a lot better, drinking a lot more water, and of course running.  I think the only way that I would actually stick with it, is find a race that is in about 4-5 months and sign up and pay for it now.  If I pay my money, I would do it.  I don't like to waste my money.  Anyone else feeling accomplished enough to do it with me????  Come on!  I think I'll make my sister-in-law Toshya do it with me.  If I had to bet...she could probably do it now.

Anywho.

Carter's one year pictures are tomorrow and his party is a week from Saturday.  OHHHH EEEMMMM GEEEE!!!  Nervous wreck about it!!  He has been very very grumpy for a couple days now due to teeth.  They are horrible!!  I don't like that he lets them get the best of him but he does!  I sure hope they come through by party time.  I thought that he would be walking by now but....no.  LAZY BONES!!  He so could if he would just get brave enough to let go.  His balance is good enough now.  He actually does it by himself but he just has to have that security hold.  I look for it to be any day though.

I found another food that Carter loves!  Cottage cheese.  I gag a little every time he takes a bite because I think it's so gross but he thinks it's the greatest thing.

That's all I got today.  Got a lot of work to do today so I better get to it!!

Firsts!!

Carter got his first haircut yesterday.  Haircut is actually going way overboard, because it should not even count.  But we did cut his hair.  He was having the old man look going for him.  His hair was growing pretty long on the sides and over his ears so his Aunt Tosh just snipped a couple of hairs on his sides and evened it out on the back of his neck yesterday after she kept him.  He is not one yet but it's alright.  We will live.  I didn't want hair coming over his ears for his one year pictures that are Friday evening.  That is one thing that is not sensitive to me for some reason.  Everyone wants to wait til their kids are one or think that they become a big kid after they get their hair cut but I don't agree for some reason.  If they need a hair cut...cut it!!!  But I may be the weird one on that one.  We got a certificate with his locks of hair on it an everything!!  I also filmed it.  Shortest film ever.  He sat there so still chewing on a comb so it literally took her 1 minute.

Carter is also eating off a plate at every meal now.  He is doing really good with it.  I thought I would have trouble with him trying to throw it down or something of that nature but he has not done it.  Or he may not have figured it out and his clock is ticking til that happens.  Either way we are ready for it!!  Next will be a spoon and fork (which we still have a while before that!).

He is eating scrambled eggs with cheese, fruit and yogurt on his Mickey Mouse plate for breakfast, while watching Mickey Mouse on tv.  I have also started separating everything on his plate.  When he was eating just on his tray I would just jumble it all up.  But now the vegetables have their own spot, fruit their own, and meat in another spot.  He picks the fruit out that he wants first.  Then moves to the vegetables that the likes the best (I always try to have a variety) then moves on to the meat.  After he is done with his meat he will then clean off the rest that is left.  When he has cleaned it all off I put more down.  I have read that a plate that is really full can be overwhelming for them sometimes and a plate with less stuff is more appealing to them.  Carter seems to like it better like that because he eats more when I do that for him.

His new two favorite veggies are yellow squash and asparagus.  It was peas and carrots.  He still likes them but he picks the other two first.  He really does not have a favorite fruit.  He loves them all the same.  He goes for the grapes first every time but I just think it's because he can pick them up the easiest.  He is now eating the Yo Baby banana or vanilla flavored yogurt with every serving of fruit.  It's a great source of calcium and protein.  It is also organic so of course I love that he eats it.  It is probably the only thing that I don't prepare for him.

We are starting to let him taste things that I have not made for him.  On Easter we let him try a sweet potatoe casserole with brown sugar and other spices in it.  He LOVED it so we let him eat a small helping of it.  I have asked, though, that we be asked first before anyone else decides to feed him something.  Strict, crazy, obsessed?  Probably.  It's alright though.  I just like to know exactly what he is consuming. 



Easter 2012

Well, I just about starting crying the other day in Texarkana with my mom when we went to Sam's.  I went over to the baby clothes section just like I do every time I go there.  I think they have some of the cutest stuff.  I saw a bib that said, "My First Easter".  I grabbed it and put it in my buggy and I even thought, "this will be Carter's last first holiday...how sad!" After walking around with it in the buggy for a while I realized that Carter was born 2 days before Easter last year.  So this Easter was not his first Easter and he will never have a first holiday as long as he lives.  I almost teared up and then realized that I at least still have his first birthday.  So I sucked it up and held on to that thought for the rest of the day.

We started off our Easter waking up late to get ready for church.  But we managed to get there on time.  We dropped Carter off at the nursery and just like every time before, he cried.  They have to give him special treatment to keep him happy.  So Carter got to go outside and watch all the big kids hunt eggs then went into another big kids classroom and watched them play.  Then he got really sleepy so they took him into a room all by himself so he could sleep.  So, even when he is not with us he is spoiled.  Becky Parnell is so crazy about Carter!!!

Whenever we got out of church we went out to a very dreary Easter Sunday.  It was raining pretty good.  So we went over to Nick's parents house and ate a very very delicious lunch.  We didn't get to hunt eggs outside, like planned, but we had a really good time inside with the boys.  Grams and Grumps got them lots of really neat stuff for their Easter baskets.

He loves his trucks!!

His favorite toy in his basket was this train. 

This is my nephew, Nolan.  Nolan decided to walk Tuesday and he is doing so great!!  I knew it would be any time!  We are so proud of him.  He needs to have a long talk with Carter about this whole walking thing.

Then we went over to my family's Easter at Aunt Toshya and Uncle Craig's house.  He got lots of stuff over there but since Nick was talking with all of the guys I had to either film or take pictures so I decided to film him open his stuff.  But Aunt Casey and Uncle Justin got him so much and Aunt Tosh and Uncle Craig got him a HUGE Easter bunny....see next picture.  He was so tired by the time we left Nick's parents so he had to take a power nap.

My family's tradition for every holiday is to decorate a holiday themed cake.  My mom made this bunny and we decorated it.  Turned out cute, huh?!?

I don't think we will have a problem trying to get Carter to eat his smash cake for his birthday!!

Then we had to take a break to eat some Cheerios and gold fish.....

And just for her pure embarrassment.....

Redneck Crib

Carter is feeling a whole lot better!!  No more of the yucky fever.  But just like every time before, he got spoiled a little too much and when he does not get his way he throws the biggest fit you ever did see.  So, again, it's time to get my little firecracker off his high horse and back to the real world.  I can't hold him all day long and he just does not understand that.  So when he comes over for me to pick him up and I don't, he throws his head back, arches his back and kicks his legs in the floor and starts screaming.  I just look at him and shake my head no and walk away.  After about 4-5 minutes of fit throwing he finally realizes that what he is doing is not working and he starts playing with something.

It's so funny because I used to be the little child that would throw fits in the middle of church with my dress up and showing my panties as I kicked and screamed because my dad would not carry me.  I actually remember my parents shaking their head no at me and walking right passed me and walking away.  I remember thinking, "they are really not going to pick me up!!  How dare they!!"  But my fit throwing eventually stopped because I realized I was making a fool out of myself.  I did not start my fit throwing near as young as 11 months though, so I have a feeling I'm in for it!!  But I can tell you that I am NOT going to allow or put up with it.  I will NOT be that mother that gets embarrassed everywhere we go.  So, Carter, might as well give it up Buddy!  It's not happening.

Carter has not wanted to be in his crib AT ALL since he has been sick.  He will sleep in a bed by himself all day and night but not his crib.  Such a strange child!!  So, since Nick and I are so sleep deprived and I had to be at work at 5:45 this morning, we had to compromise.  He would not sleep in his crib but we definitely didn't want him in bed with us so.....



That is my sweet son sleeping in the full size bed that is in his room caged in.  We have a tubs full of his clothes at the end of the bed and his crib beside it.   He slept all night like that.  Like, what's the difference?!?  He is still caged in, still by himself, still in his room.  But he has to learn that he is not always going to get his way so he is going back to the crib tonight and he will just have to throw another one of his fits until he falls asleep.  I feel for ya Carter!  Really I do.  And I love you more than life itself but it's my job to make you learn these hard lessons in life.  The world don't revolve around you sweet heart.

Other than his fit throwing and bad sleeping habits he is just perfect.  He is so super sweet when he is not in one of his moods and smart if I do say so myself.  And I just gotta say he is a tough little booger.  Through all of these sick spells he is still rocking and rolling like nothing ever phased him.  The only thing that the sickness has really phased is his weight.  The doc seems to think it is low due to all the sickness.  So we are pondering on putting him on toddler formula along with whole milk to bring it up a bit.  Not for sure...just pondering the idea.  Not that I would ever do this, but he said don't give him sugary stuff like cokes, ice cream, cookies, ect. to bring it back up.  He said that would be the worst thing I can do for him.  So he recommended the formula.

Here is my sweet boy when he was running fever



Answered Prayers

I started reading and really studying on Cyclic Neutropenia.  I don't know if any of you looked it up but it was some pretty scary stuff.  Words like Leukemia, chemotherapy, mouth ulcers, joint pain, injections, ect.  SCARED ME TO DEATH. I don't think I have ever been so scared.  I snatched Carter up and I held him so tight and just fell apart.  I had the breakdown of all breakdowns.  I honestly could not handle it at the moment so Mom came over and let me rest....and when I say rest I mean crying my little eyes out.  She stayed until about 2:00 a.m. with Carter then we let her go home.  It gave me time to get it together to take care of him like I should.  Nick, along with Tonya, Callie, and Abbie, assured me that everything was fine and to think positive until we know for sure. 

So Nick and I prayed hard and long for our precious baby boy.  It's just really really hard.  We have been nervous before about Carter being sick but never this on edge and scared.  But in mid prayer I realized that God does have a plan and his plan is always for the good and he really knows that he is doing.  His plan is far greater than I can ever understand.  So my prayer went from begging him to heal Carter to thanking him for the precious life that he has blessed us with.  And all of a sudden I just knew that everything was going to be okay.  I gotta be honest, as a Christian I have never heard God speak to me.  But last night he spoke to me and I heard him loud and clear.  So after our little chat I slept very peacefully.

At 9:00 this morning my phone rang and it was Carter's doctor.  He informed me that Carter's blood work came back perfectly normal.  His white blood cell count was at a 12 and normal range is like 7-16.  He also said that the chances for Carter to have that mean disease was slim to none, but we are still going to go back in two weeks to do more bloodwork just to make sure.  The doctor said that the symptoms are there but if it is not in his blood work then he does not have it.  He thinks it is weird that Carter gets fever without any other symptoms but it is possible for him just to get a virus every month.  Since he is only around me, Mom, and Nick and not around other small children then his immune system is down from those germs that kids usually get.  So when he is around other small children then he just get's viruses easily.  We are still going to run tests every time he gets fever just to be on the safe side.

If I could have, I would have given the doctor a big wet kiss on the lips for that news.  I may have to take out a loan to pay of all these doctor bills but my little one is worth it!!

Carter is feeling better.  He is starting to be more active and he did eat half of his breakfast this morning and lots of cheerios and puffs.  So things are looking up and I think we are about done with this little spell. 

Thanks for all of the encouragement and concerned texts!  I really needed the support.  Mostly, thanks to those of you that prayed for us.  They worked.  Love you guys!!

Blah Blog

Carter is once again sick.  Fever, fussy, not eating much,ect.  Same ol' same ol'.  We went to the doctor today and had yet another chest x-ray...6th one.  Got tested for the flu, rsv...blah blah blah.  It all came back negative and normal.  I am so sick of it.  Anyways, Carter's doctor has found a pattern for when his fever comes and goes.  It's like clock-work.  Same time every month just about.  He is thinking that Carter has something called Cyclic Neutropenia.  In a nut shell it's when his white blood cell count goes down about every 21 days.  White blood cells are vital for fighting off infections which is causing him to have fever and makes him feel just awful.  You can look it up.  Anyways, we are not for sure that's what he has so we had to draw blood today, then go back in two more weeks to draw more blood, and that part is awful!!  As bad as all that sounds, I'm glad to finally find something that actually makes sense.  I am not entirely sure at what the treatments will be for it...I'm thinking it will be injections to keep his white blood cell count up.  But I may be jumping the gun because it's not for sure it's what he has.

Other than all that he is very healthy; ears, lungs, heart, growth, ect.  He is still in the 10-15% in weight but that's ok.  He is still long.  He weighed 19 pounds 8 oz. 

That's all I got for ya today.  Debbie Downer blog....sorry!

To brighten things up a bit...

Watching Mickey Mouse in my bean bag...no big deal.

Yet another birthday present Mia let him see early....spoiled.